Hawthorn Suites Allentown: Your Fogelsville Getaway Awaits!
Hawthorn Suites Allentown: My Fogelsville Flop (or, you know, a Pretty Okay Getaway)
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because I'm about to spill the tea on my recent stay at the Hawthorn Suites in Allentown. "Fogelsville Getaway Awaits!" the website promised. Getaway? Well, it was a way to be away. Let's just say it wasn't exactly a tropical paradise, but hey, at least I escaped the laundry pile for a couple of nights.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag, Honestly
They boast about accessibility, and that's HUGE for me. I poked around, and while they say they're accessible, I'd recommend calling ahead and grilling them about specifics. Some of the reviews mentioned tight spaces and the occasional wonky ramp. Don't be shy about verifying!
The Good Stuff (and the Not-So-Good):
- Cleanliness & Safety: This is where they actually seemed to shine. They're clearly taking the whole COVID thing seriously – and I appreciate that! Anti-viral everything, constant disinfecting, hand sanitizer galore. The staff, from what I could see, were actually trained in safety protocols. Nice to see a hotel that actually cares right now. And the room? (More on that, later, but spoiler: it was clean.)
- Dining, Drinking & Snacking Okay, this is where things get a bit… pedestrian. The "Asian cuisine" in the restaurant? I think I saw one spring roll. The breakfast buffet? A sad, lonely landscape of lukewarm scrambled eggs and questionable sausages. But! They had coffee. And I'm a simple woman. Coffee is crucial. They claimed a Poolside bar but the pool was closed due to the season. The bar was a distant memory.
- Rooms: The whole place is setup like a suite of rooms, so the room itself was actually pretty decent size. Again, not luxurious, but spacious, had a mini bar (water and a few snacks at a premium price), and, crucially: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Praise the internet gods! Also, my room felt clean, and I noticed the room sanitization opt-out option which I thought was a nice touch. I chose not to opt-out.
- Services & Conveniences: Air conditioning? Check. Daily housekeeping? Check. Elevator? Thankfully, check (I am not climbing stairs after a long day). They had a "convenience store," which was a glorified vending machine. But hey, at least I could grab a bag of chips in my 4 AM hunger pangs.
- Things to Do/Ways to Relax: Don't get your hopes up. The "Fitness center" was basically a glorified closet with a treadmill and a weight machine. The pool was closed. Spa? Sauna? Steamroom? Nope. (Or if they are, they have been closed for a while). A serious letdown if R&R is your main goal.
Now, For The Real Tea:
- The Breakfast. The Agony of the Breakfast. Okay, I'm going to be brutally honest. The breakfast was… well, let's just say it didn't exactly set my taste buds on fire. It was a buffet, so you're already wading through the potential for lukewarm everything. The scrambled eggs tasted suspiciously like they'd been made from a powder, and the "sausage" was a culinary mystery, probably assembled in some underground factory. I mean, come on! I need a decent breakfast to even function. I went for the toast, but it was very stale, even after asking for a fresh batch.
- The Wi-Fi Wobble: Again, the internet was free, which is fantastic. But the Wi-Fi signal was… temperamental. It would drop out at the most inopportune moments – like, when I was in the middle of a very important cat video marathon. (Priorities, people!) I think I saw the occasional LAN port in the room, but who even uses those anymore?
- The Ambiance: "Fogelsville Getaway Awaits!" Yeah, the location isn't exactly bursting with excitement. Basically, it's right off the highway, surrounded by strip malls and… well, not much else. If you're looking for a thrilling nightlife scene, this isn't it. But it's quiet, so you can actually sleep. Maybe.
- The Bed and the Blackout Curtains: This is where my stay got redeemed. The bed was comfy. And the blackout curtains? Absolute genius! I slept like a log! Finally, some sweet, uninterrupted sleep.
The Verdict:
Hawthorn Suites Allentown? It's a solid choice if you need a clean, safe, and reasonably priced place to crash for a night or two. It’s not exactly luxury, but it’s not terrible. The staff were friendly, the room was fine (thanks, blackout curtains!), and the Wi-Fi, when it worked, was a godsend. Probably a good place to stop if you are on I-78.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars. Could be better. Could be worse. Would probably return again.
SEO & Metadata Stuff:
- Title: Hawthorn Suites Allentown Review: Your Fogelsville Getaway Awaits! (But Should You Go?)
- Keywords: Hawthorn Suites Allentown, Fogelsville, hotel review, accessibility, free wifi, clean hotel, hotel safety, Allentown hotels, Pennsylvania hotels, [List any related attractions or nearby points of interest]
- Meta Description: Honest & hilarious review of Hawthorn Suites Allentown! Find out if this Fogelsville hotel is the right choice for your next trip. Read about cleanliness, amenities, food, and accessibility.
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your sterile, corporate-approved travel plan. This is the raw, unfiltered, probably-slightly-hungover account of me trying to survive a trip to Allentown-Fogelsville, PA, staying at that… Hawthorn Suites place. Wish me luck, because I’m gonna need it.
The "Let's-Pretend-We're-Organized" Itinerary (But Really, It's a Hot Mess):
Day 1: Arrival and the Crushing Weight of Expectations (and a Really Uncomfortable Pillow)
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at the Lehigh Valley International Airport (ABE). Okay, so the airport itself? Pretty… meh. It’s not exactly JFK, you know? But, hey, less stressful than navigating a mega-hub. Anecdote: The rental car pickup? Disaster. The dude at the counter had the charisma of a damp dishcloth and kept trying to upsell me on insurance for my imaginary car theft risk. Seriously, am I living in a John Grisham novel now? I finally just signed everything, mostly to escape his monotone.
- 2:00 PM: Check into the Hawthorn Suites. Deep breath. Okay, room… it’s… functional. The furniture feels like it's been here since the Clinton administration. The hallway carpet looks like it's seen better days (and probably smelled them too). Quirky Observation: The "complimentary" breakfast is probably going to be powdered eggs and week-old bagels. I’m already steeling myself. Emotional Reaction: I'm already craving a good, strong coffee, and maybe a stiff drink. This is not how I envisioned my escape from reality.
- 3:00 PM: Unpack (or, more realistically, throw my stuff haphazardly on a chair). First mission - find the coffee pot!! I'm serious, I'm going to have a full-blown meltdown if I don't find some caffeine soon.
- 3:30 PM: Coffee acquired. Okay. I feel slightly less like a zombie now.
- 4:00 PM: Explore the "amenities." Gym. It’s probably a closet containing a treadmill and a dusty elliptical. Pool? I'll be generous and assume it’s indoors. Opinionated Language: Seriously, why do hotels always lie about their gyms? They're always way smaller and more depressing than the pictures. Expectation is one thing, and reality is another!
- 5:00 PM: Decide I will conquer the local food scene. Gotta find dinner.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner time! After much deliberation (and way too much Googling reviews), I decided to eat at a local establishment, I'd heard it was amazing!
- 7:00 PM: Dinner. Well… the food was good, though the service was on a different planet. My waiter looked like he was contemplating his life choices. Emotional Reaction: I felt bad for him, but still, my water glass remained empty, my appetizer (the one that wasn't cold) took ages. Messier Structure: The restaurant's decor was a bizarre mix of "rustic chic" and "grandma's attic." Picture it: overstuffed velvet chairs, taxidermied animal heads peering down, and a chandelier that probably cost more than my car. The whole thing kind of felt like being trapped in a fever dream.
- 8:30 PM: Retreat to the hotel room. I'm already starting to feel the pull of the comfy (but probably lumpy) bed. I'm getting old, I can tell you that.
- 9:00 PM: Watch some bad TV. Maybe order some snacks. Try not to think about tomorrow.
- 10:00 PM: Sleep. Or, attempt to. The pillow situation is dire.
Day 2: Museum Marvels & the Undeniable Allure of a Pancake Breakfast
- 8:00 AM: The so-called "complimentary" breakfast. The coffee is, predictably, weak. The powdered eggs are… well, they’re eggs. The bagels are stale. Emotional Reaction: Sigh. This is what true disappointment feels like.
- 9:00 AM: Visit the Allentown Art Museum. Doubling Down on a Single Experience: The art museum was the only saving grace of this trip. The building itself - absolutely stunning! I spent hours wandering through the galleries, captivated by the paintings and sculptures. One painting, a still life of fruit, stopped me in my tracks. The way the light hit the apples, the brushstrokes… Wow. I could have stood there all day. I was completely lost in thought.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at a… something local. Looked decent on Google.
- 1:00 PM: Explore the "historical district" of Allentown. Messier Structure: There's a nice park. I like parks. Maybe I could sit on a bench and contemplate life and all the things I am putting off. No, wait. Maybe something more interesting?
- 3:00 PM: Back to the hotel. Need a nap. The museum was exhausting.
- 4:00 PM: More bad TV. The cycle continues.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner, round two.
- 7:00 PM: Stargazing.
Day 3: Departure and the Lingering Questions about the Pillow
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast encore. Still disappointed.
- 9:00 AM: Check out (hurrah!).
- 10:00 AM: Drive back to the airport.
- 11:00 AM: Airport debrief and wait for my flight. The final thought - that pillow. OMG I should request new pillows. The end.
Okay, Seriously, Where IS this Place? Fogelsville? Is that a Real Town, or Did I Accidentally Book a Flight to Narnia?
Alright, let's get this out of the way. Fogelsville? Yeah, it's real. It's in Pennsylvania, just outside Allentown. Think...rolling hills, some strip malls that look like they haven't been updated since the 90s, and…well, that's about it. But hey, it's a great location if you're visiting the area, and the Hawthorn Suites is right smack dab in the middle of it all. I did spend a good ten minutes on Google Maps, squinting at the screen, wondering if I'd somehow wandered into a glitch in the matrix. Turns out, nope. Just Fogelsville. Embrace the quirkiness.
What's the Deal with the Breakfast? Is it a Heart Attack Waiting to Happen, or Actually Decent?
Breakfast...ah, the eternal question. The Hawthorn Suites breakfast, in my personal, very biased opinion, is…an experience. It's included, so that's HUGE. Expect your standard continental fare: bagels (possibly stale), toast (more likely stale), cereal (probably not the Captain Crunch kind, sadly), fruit (some kind of vaguely melon-y thing), and the ever-present waffle maker.
Now, here's the thing. I went *once*, and they were out of syrup. OUT OF SYRUP. At a waffle station! I swear, it felt like a personal affront. Okay, I’m being dramatic, but I do need my syrup. Otherwise, the waffle was fine, slightly undercooked according to my standards, but I'm a perfectionist. It's not gourmet, but it'll get you started. And, honestly, after that, everything looks good. Just bring your own syrup. Just saying.
Are the Rooms Actually "Suites"? I've Been Duped Before...
Okay, this is where Hawthorn Suites actually delivers. YES. They are suites. We're talking a separate living area with a sofa bed (which I, thankfully, did not need to use), a microwave, a fridge (praise the heavens for keeping my questionable leftovers from the previous night cold), and a decent-sized bedroom. It's perfect for spreading out. I think they're genuinely spacious, and the extra space is golden if you're traveling with family or just generally like breathing room, which I do.
Parking Situation? Because I Drive a Monstrous SUV that Needs a Lot of Space.
Parking is… fine. Ample, even. You shouldn't have any issues finding a spot, even if your SUV thinks it's a semi-truck. Now, if it's snowing and everyone's scraping ice off their windshields and the parking lot looks like a war zone…well, then you're on your own. But generally? Easy peasy.
What's the Wi-Fi Like? Because I Need to Stream Shows, Obviously. And Maybe Work. Don't Judge.
The Wi-Fi? Okay, here's the deal. It worked. I mean, it didn't set any speed records. I managed to stream a few episodes of whatever show everyone's into these days (I’m a few seasons behind, don’t judge), and get some basic work done. But don't expect lightning-fast speeds. It’s adequate. Think of it as a reliable friend, not a tech guru.
Is There a Pool? Because Sunbathing is My Cardio. Ish.
Yes! There's a pool. It's…indoor. I didn't use it. I vaguely remember seeing it through the window – a rectangular box of blue. I can't swear it was heated, and again, I didn't even bother looking at the pool in person. The picture seemed like they have the same old pool you'll find at any hotel. My advice? If you are a pool person, then check it out.
Anything *Really* Surprisingly Good? Or Surprisingly Bad? Spill the Tea!
Okay, surprisingly good? Hmm…the staff was genuinely friendly. Like, unexpectedly so. They seemed to actually *care* (or at least, they were excellent actors). A definite plus. The surprisingly bad? The elevators, honestly, were a bit…sketchy. One of them had a mysterious humming noise going on (which, in my experience, is never a good sign). I took the stairs more often than not. A touch of anxiety with those things.
What's Nearby? Besides, you know, Fogelsville.
Well, Fogelsville itself isn’t exactly a bustling metropolis. But you are relatively close to Allentown. Plenty of the standard chain restaurants are around. There's also a few local places. I spent an hour researching the restaurants in walking distance. I will admit, I ended up ordering pizza from the room. No regrets.
Would You Stay Here Again? The Ultimate Question!
Honestly? Yeah, probably. For the price, the space, and the location, it's a solid choice. It's not the Ritz, but it's comfortable enough, and the staff is lovely. Just remember to bring your own syrup. And maybe a pair of comfortable shoes for those stairs. It’s a good basecamp for exploring the area (or, you know, enjoying the fine dining options of Fogelsville). I'd recommend it. Just with those minor caveats.
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