Escape to Paradise: Melbourne's BEST La Quinta Inn & Suites!

La Quinta Inn & Suites by Wyndham Melbourne Viera Melbourne (FL) United States

Escape to Paradise: Melbourne's BEST La Quinta Inn & Suites!

Escape to Paradise: …Or Maybe Just Melbourne? My Wild Ride at La Quinta Inn & Suites (A Very Honest Review)

Alright, folks, hold onto your hats (and maybe a life preserver, just in case), because I’m about to dive headfirst into my recent stay at the… ahem… "Melbourne’s BEST La Quinta Inn & Suites." Let me tell you, the title alone sets the bar high. Did it live up to the hype? Well, buckle up, buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's travel review.

First Impressions (and a Near-Death Experience with the Elevator):

Okay, so "Escape to Paradise" might be a slight overstatement. Let's just say the exterior wasn't exactly screaming "tropical oasis." More like a… well-maintained, if slightly utilitarian building. Finding the place was a bit of an adventure – GPS tried to send me through a suspiciously narrow alleyway. That's always a good start.

The lobby was… fine. Functional. Clean enough. The front desk staff were friendly, bless their hearts. Check-in was thankfully painless, which is a win in my book. Now, the elevator. The elevator. It's a small, enclosed space, perfect for a claustrophobe like myself. On the way up to my room, it made a noise like a dying whale, and I swear I saw the lights flicker. I gripped the handrail with white knuckles, convinced I was about to become a permanent resident of the building's internal mechanics. I’m pretty sure I said a quick prayer to whatever deity handles elevator malfunctions. Thankfully, we made it. Trauma unlocked.

Accessibility & Safety (Because We Gotta Cover the Essentials):

Honestly, I wasn't paying super close attention to accessibility features, but I did notice an elevator (obviously, a point of interest now!), and the hallways looked wide enough for wheelchairs. I think there were accessible rooms, but I didn’t go poking around. They had all the standard safety things you expect: fire extinguishers, smoke detectors, CCTV. Felt reasonably safe, though after the elevator scare, I remained vigilant. They also had a 24-hour front desk, which is always reassuring, especially when you have a midnight craving for…well, anything.

Cleanliness & Safety - The Sanitization Saga (My OCD Kicked In):

Okay, Covid world. Let's be real. I'm a bit of a germaphobe. I was hyper-vigilant. Thankfully, La Quinta seemed to be taking things seriously. They touted "Professional-grade sanitizing services" and "Daily disinfection in common areas." My room even had a little sticker saying it had been "sanitized between stays." I loved the little personal-sized hand sanitizers everywhere. Hand sanitizer, my dear friends, is my new best friend. They also had little signs for hand hygiene. They were all over it, and I appreciated it. They even had "individually wrapped food options" for the breakfast buffet, which, lets just say, were a mixed bag. Mostly good.

The Room: My Temporary Fortress (and the Great Bedding Debacle):

My room wasn't massive, but it was functional. The air conditioning was a godsend (because Melbourne weather is a fickle mistress). It had all the basics: a comfy enough bed, a desk where I could pretend to be productive, a small TV, and… wait for it… blackout curtains. (Insert celebratory fist pump). I love a good blackout curtain. Made the world feel a lot less… bright.

The bed situation, however… let’s just say the sheets were a tad scratchy. I'm not a bedding snob, but these sheets… were not the stuff dreams are made of. Think… starched linen from your grandma's guest room. Still, they had a closet, a hairdryer, and, thank heavens, free Wi-Fi, which worked surprisingly well, so I could at least waste time online while I was in bed.

They had all the usual amenities. Slippers didn't look particularly "clean." Some of the bathroom toiletries didn't look high end, but they did have everything you need. They had a little fridge. They also have a little safe. Overall, the room was fine.

Dining, Drinking & Snacking (The Breakfast Buffet Battle):

Okay, now we get to the good stuff. (Or… not so much.) The included breakfast was… well, it was there. Let’s put it that way. They had the standard buffet fare: scrambled eggs (a little… rubbery), some sad-looking sausages, toast, cereal, and a fruit selection that looked like it had seen better days. The coffee, thankfully, was drinkable. The best part? Individually wrapped pastries! (Okay, and maybe the coffee). The buffet was… a mixed bag. The staff tried. They refilled things quickly, and I appreciated the effort. I went for the coffee and individually wrapped pastries.

Beyond the breakfast, there was nothing in the hotel itself. No restaurant, no bar, not even a vending machine. You were on your own. Luckily, Melbourne has a ton of options nearby, which is a huge plus.

Things to Do & Ways to Relax (Or, Where's the Paradise?):

Now, here's where the "Escape to Paradise" bit really falls apart. There was… not much. No pool, no spa, no sauna, no gym (the horror!). Just the bare essentials. Thankfully, Melbourne itself is an absolute goldmine for things to do. But from within the hotel itself, there was not much to do.

Services and Conveniences (The Good, the Bad, and the Could-Be-Better):

They provided pretty much all the basics. The daily housekeeping was fantastic. The staff were very professional and friendly, always smiling. They even had a currency exchange service (which I didn't use, but nice to know it was there). They had a business center, though I didn't need it.

For the Kids (Not My Area, But Here's What I Noticed):

I didn’t travel with kids, so my experience here is limited, but I did see a few families. There weren't any specific kid-friendly facilities inside the hotel, but Melbourne as a whole is great for families.

The Verdict: Escape to… Mediocrity?

So, did La Quinta Inn & Suites live up to its "Escape to Paradise" proclamation? Honestly? No. Not really. But, it provided a clean, functional, and reasonably priced base for exploring Melbourne. It's definitely not a luxury experience, but it's a good option if you're looking for a comfortable place to crash after a day of exploring.

Would I recommend it? Maybe. It depends on what you're looking for. If you want a pool, a spa, and a gourmet breakfast, look elsewhere. If you want a clean, safe, and affordable place to sleep while you experience the awesome city that is Melbourne, then La Quinta Inn & Suites might be just the ticket.

Highlights:

• Location, Location, Location: Close to everything Melbourne offers.
• Cleanliness: They took hygiene seriously.
• Friendly staff: Always a plus.
• Blackout Curtains: My sanity savior.

Lowlights:

• The Elevator: Made me question my life choices.
• Lack of On-Site Amenities: No pool, gym, bar, or decent restaurant.
• Scratchy Sheets: Bedding could be better.
• Breakfast Buffet: A bit of a letdown.

So, there you have it. The unvarnished truth about my "Escape to Paradise" (or, you know, a La Quinta in Melbourne). Would I go back? Maybe. I’m all for a cheap and cheerful hotel. I guess it depends on whether I can stomach the elevator again… and the sheets.

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La Quinta Inn & Suites by Wyndham Melbourne Viera Melbourne (FL) United States

Alright, buckle up, Buttercup, because we're diving headfirst into a stay at the La Quinta Inn & Suites by Wyndham Melbourne Viera in… well, Melbourne Viera, Florida. This ain't gonna be your perfectly-manicured travel blog. This is… reality. (Cue dramatic music!)

Day 1: Arrival and the Mystery of the Missing Shampoo

• 2:00 PM: Landed. Ugh, the airport. Always a circus. Seriously, how many people actually need to wear roller skates? Anyway, got the rental car – a slightly-too-beige sedan, but hey, it's got AC, which is basically a lifeline in Florida. Drove over here, and, wow, the drive itself felt like a fever dream of strip malls and palm trees.
• 3:30 PM: Check-in. The lobby is… fine. Generic hotel lobby fine. Staffer was super polite, but I swear, her nametag said "Brenda" but I swear the real name beneath that was "Robot Brenda 5000." Got the key card, finally.
• 4:00 PM: First impressions of the room. Okay, the air conditioner is blasting. Thank goodness. The bed… actually looks pretty comfy. But. The bathroom. Oh, the bathroom. Turns out someone (probably me later) packed… literally everything except shampoo. Seriously? I'm starting to feel like I always forget crucial items. At least there are complimentary little bottles here, even if they smell faintly of despair and… something floral?
• 4:30 PM: A quick look around the suite, pretty basic, nothing special, the TV is… the TV.
• 5:00 PM: Settled down for a nap. This is when things go wrong. Not just a nap, a deep slumber. Was woken up by a phone ringing and the voice of a person that I don't know.
• 6:00 PM: After a bit of confusion with the phone call and going back to normal, I got hungry. So, I decided to find something to eat. There is not much near the hotel. So, I decided just to go to the nearest supermarket that had food ready and snacks.
• 7:30 PM: Arrived at the hotel, ate the food on the bed.
• 8:30 PM: Just chilling, and watching TV.

Day 2: Pursuing the Phantom Shampoo and the Great Brevard Zoo Adventure

• 7:00 AM: Wake up, shower… Oh, the shampoo situation. I'm starting to suspect a grand conspiracy. Maybe the shampoo shortage is a marketing ploy? "Buy our overpriced, tiny bottles of despair!" No, can't be. Head out.
• 8:00 AM: Breakfast at the hotel. The "complimentary breakfast" is… well, it is there. Waffles are sadly uninspiring, but passable with enough syrup. Coffee is the kind that gives you the jitters for a solid two hours. I'm already starting to feel like I'm living in a sitcom.
• 9:00 AM: Okay, time for the Brevard Zoo. Everyone raves about it. I'm going in expecting a certain blend of heartwarming animal encounters and slightly-overpriced souvenirs.
• 9:30 AM-1:30 PM: The Brevard Zoo. Okay, holy moly. This place is fantastic! The giraffes get way too close. The monkeys are straight-up judging you. The birds are loud. And the kayaking tour is a sweaty, slightly-miserable masterpiece. I accidentally splashed water on a family. Oops. Totally worth spending the day here.
• 2:00 PM: Lunch at the zoo. My sandwich was… alright.
• 3:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Exhausted. That Florida sun is no joke. Nap time, obviously. But first, the shampoo hunt continues. I raid the little bottles.
• 6:00 PM: Dinner. Found a little Mexican place up the road. Tacos were divine. Margaritas… less so, but I'm still glad I got them.
• 7:30 PM: Back in the room, I look through the windows, and I start to think.

Day 3: The Final Confrontation (With the Shampoo)

• 7:00 AM: Wake up. The sun blazes through the blinds. I can feel the humidity clinging to me.
• 7:30 AM: Breakfast. I'm starting to recognize the waffle robot. We're practically friends now.
• 8:30 AM: I still NEED shampoo.
• 9:00 AM: I go to the small supermarket near the hotel, and I buy shampoo. Finally.
• 10:00 AM: I decided to stay in the hotel and watch TV, with some snacks I bought, from a nearby store.

Overall Impressions

La Quinta? It's a hotel. It's fine. It's clean. It's got free wi-fi. The waffles are… exist. The Brevard Zoo? GO THERE. Seriously. It's a total win. The shampoo debacle? A minor, yet oddly compelling, life lesson about the importance of packing… literally everything. And now I get it, I'll pack shampoo next time!

Was it a perfect trip? Absolutely not. Am I completely exhausted? Absolutely. Would I do it again? Probably! Florida may be weird, but it's definitely memorable. And hey, those tiny shampoo bottles, are now a little memento.

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La Quinta Inn & Suites by Wyndham Melbourne Viera Melbourne (FL) United States```html

So, is Escape to Paradise *actually* paradise? Because the name's a bit much, right?

Okay, let's be real. Paradise? That's a BIG ask, innit? Melbourne ain't the Garden of Eden, even if the coffee *sometimes* feels like it. But Escape to Paradise? Look, it's a La Quinta. You know the drill - clean rooms, free breakfast (that’s a *major* win, by the way – more on that later!), and a pool that probably screams "chlorine!" from a mile away. BUT... *but*... I had this *one* time, right? I was dead tired, flight delayed, luggage lost (thanks, Qantas, you magnificent bunch!), and stumbled in there at 3 AM. The night guy, bless his cotton socks, his name was Dave, looked exactly the same but was wearing a different shirt the next morning - clearly he hadn't left the place, had just changed shirts (that got me chuckling, I think I just got a glimpse of a night in dave's life). He saw the crumpled mess that was me and somehow, *somehow*, got me checked in, found my reservation (miracle!), and pointed me to a room. And that room... was bliss. Even the slightly stained carpet looked welcoming. So, *that* night? Paradise adjacent. Maybe. Probably just the exhaustion talking.

Speaking of breakfast…what's the deal with the "free breakfast"? Is it worth actually getting out of bed for? Like, genuinely?

Okay, the free breakfast. THIS is where Escape to Paradise *almost* sells itself. *Almost.* Look, don't expect artisanal sourdough, avocado toast, and a barista whipping up latte art. That's not what we're dealing with here. But, and this is a BIG but, it's FREE. And after a night of questionable pre-flight snacks (airport food, am I right?!), you NEED sustenance. They usually have:

• Scrambled eggs (sometimes suspiciously yellow, but edible!),
• Sausage patties (a bit greasy, but they *are* sausage patties!),
• Waffles (made-to-order, which is kinda great!),
• Cereal (classic!),
• Yogurt (with potential for added sugar, which is usually the option I choose!),
• Fruit (sometimes questionable), and
• Coffee (that's where the real magic lives).

Now, the coffee? That's the lifeline. It's the lukewarm hug you need after a long night. It probably comes from a machine that's seen better days, but it's hot, it's caffeinated, and it's *free*. And if you're really lucky, they'll have those little individual yogurts with the added sugar. Those are the real MVPs of the breakfast buffet. I once saw a guy make a waffle sandwich with EVERYTHING – eggs, sausage, syrup, the works. Dude was living his best life. I was jealous. And inspired. Next time... next time...

What's the location like? Is it actually "Melbourne" or more of a "Melbourne-ish" situation, aka, way outside the city center?

Okay, location. This is important. Let's be honest here. "Escape to Paradise" is, depending on your definition, either *in* Melbourne or... *near* Melbourne, kind off. It's *not* right smack-bang in the middle of the action. You're probably going to need to factor in some travel time. From memory, it was about an hour away in the car from the City. You will need a car, or ready access to public transport. I'd say it was pretty accessible, but if you're expecting to walk out the door and be at Federation Square, then you're going to have a sad time of it. Public transport's decent in Melbourne, but factor in the travel time. It's not the trendy, hip part of town, probably. But the upside? It's generally quieter and easier to get to when you're coming in from the airport (as I usually am!). You get some restaurants nearby. Look, it's a trade-off. Convenience vs. location, that classic travel dilemma. Depends what you're after. If you're the type that likes to see the sights while in the city, then I would not recommend this place.

The rooms... are they clean? Really? Because hotel cleanliness can be a gamble.

Okay, the rooms. The elephant in the room, so to speak. Look, in my experience, yeah, they're *generally* clean. Don't expect the Ritz. Expect a step up from a hostel. I've stayed there a bunch of times (don't judge me!). The linens have always *seemed* clean. The bathrooms *have* been, you know, bathroom-like. I do remember one time, though... There was this one *tiny* stain on the carpet. Like, almost imperceptible. But once you saw it, you couldn't *unsee* it. It was a mystery stain. I spent a good five minutes trying to figure out what it *could* be. Tomato sauce? Wine? Blood? (Okay, maybe I got carried away). In the end, I decided to just ignore it. You can't let a little stain ruin your life, right? But hey, it's clean enough, considering the price! I'm not going to obsess. They do a pretty good job. But do yourself a favor when you get there, ask for a room on a high floor... with no stained carpet. Just in case.

Is there a pool? Because a hotel pool can be a lifesaver after a long day, or a complete disappointment if it's tiny and freezing.

Yes! They *do* have a pool. It’s... fine. Let’s just say that. It's not the kind of pool that will win any awards. It’s rectangular, filled with water (mostly!), and probably gets a healthy dose of chlorine. I've only used it a handful of times. The one big problem is that it is in a small, enclosed space. I remember going during the summer, and you could barely move because of the tourists! I had to change my plans entirely, and go to a nearby shopping centre to cool down! The pool is a nice idea in the brochures, but in reality, you are crammed, and the water is not as pristine as you would expect. It's definitely not the infinity pool overlooking the ocean that you might dream of, but if you're desperate for a quick dip, it’ll do the job. Just, you know, don't set your expectations *too* high. Maybe pack some earplugs, too. Because kids. And, the inevitable screaming kids. Do you want to know the best part? The shower is right there! You don't even need to go into the room to start your showering routine!

Would you actually *recommend* this place? Be honest!

Okay, so would I *recommend* Escape to Paradise? Hmm… It depends. If you’re on a budget, need a clean-ish place to crash, and value a (mostly) free breakfast, then yeah, I’d say it’s worth considering. It's not fancy, it's not glamorous, but it's functional. It's a solid, reliable option. Trip Hotel Hub

La Quinta Inn & Suites by Wyndham Melbourne Viera Melbourne (FL) United States

La Quinta Inn & Suites by Wyndham Melbourne Viera Melbourne (FL) United States

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