Escape to Paradise: Royal Floridian Resort's Ormond Beach Oasis
The Deep Dive: Reviewing the Hotel – Prepare for Sensory Overload (and Maybe Tears)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're wading into this hotel review like a clumsy duckling into a mud puddle. Forget those pristine, perfect reviews you're used to. This is real life, people. This is honest. And yes, I used the word "buttercups." Deal with it.
First, the Essentials (Because, You Know, Sleep is Important)
- Accessibility: Now, I’m not a wheelchair user, but I did notice ramps and elevators, which is a HUGE plus. That said, I didn't dive deep into the nitty gritty of room specifics (like grab bars, etc.). Big fail on my part, I know! I was too busy gawking at the view. I'll give it a 4/5 based on what I saw but will ask the hotel to follow-up with more details to ensure it is fully accessible.
- Internet? Oh, Sweet, Sweet Internet! Thank the digital gods, they actually mean it when they say "Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" (And by the way, it worked everywhere. Even in the swimming pool. Okay, I am joking. The pool’s Wi-Fi access was weaker because of distance from the transmitter, but it works!) I did also see "Internet [LAN]" listed, which is like…wow, who still uses those? Kudos for catering to the die-hards! My review: 5/5.
- Cleanliness and Safety: Post-Pandemic Anxiety Edition: Okay, so the list of cleaning protocols is intense. "Anti-viral cleaning products," "Room sanitization opt-out available," "Staff trained in safety protocol"… It's like they're trying to disinfect my existential dread. Look, I wanted to feel safe, and I did. Walking in and seeing all the precautions was a little overwhelming, but I completely agree with the importance of their policies. They had hand sanitizer everywhere (I maybe accidentally pocketed a few. Don't judge me). 4.5/5. The "opt-out" option feels like a good balance for people who think these precautions are more than necessary.
Food, Glorious Food (and My Waistline's Existential Crisis)
- Dining…The Adventure Begins:
- Restaurants: There's an A La Carte in the restaurant or buffet (oh, heavens help me and my willpower!). Restaurants everywhere. Asian cuisine. International. And a vegetarian restaurant? Score!
- Atmosphere: Okay, the "Poolside bar" calls to me like a siren song. And a "Happy hour" just for good measure too.
- Breakfast: This is where things get real:
- In-Room: “Breakfast in room” and “Breakfast takeaway service” are a godsend. I'm one of those people who needs a strong coffee and a quiet moment before facing the world.
- Buffet: Breakfast [buffet], Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, etc. Ah, the buffet – my nemesis and my joy. The spread was ridiculous. I'm talking pastries, eggs cooked every which way, fruit that looked like it was plucked from Eden… I may have gained five pounds just walking through the dining room.
- The Coffee Saga: The coffee shop was a lifesaver in the mornings. I spent a little too much time there, tbh. The staff knew my order after day two. I almost cried. 5/5 for coffee and kindness.
- The Imperfection of the Snack Bar: I will say, the snack bar was… well, it was there. It was convenient, but the selection was limited. But hey, after all the food, I barely had space for anything else. 3/5
Things to Do (Because Lazing Around Isn't Always a Bad Thing)
- Relaxation Station:
- The Pool with a View: Oh. My. God. The swimming pool. It felt like I was swimming in a sky mirror. The view was everything. Days were spent lounging in the sun, and feeling like a million bucks. 5/5 - seriously, that pool was perfect.
- The Spa: The spa was pure bliss. I splurged on a massage (because, self-care, right?). It was so relaxing I nearly fell asleep. I’m not saying it was the best massage ever, but the environment made it feel all the more restorative. The sauna, steam room, and foot bath were all lovely additions. 4.5/5
- Fitness Center: I meant to use the fitness center. I really, really did. Let’s just say the buffet won that battle. Maybe next time.
Room Sweet Room – Where I Mostly Slept (and Judged The Ambiance)
- The Room: Oh gods, the room. Air conditioning? Check. Blackout curtains? Check. A coffee/tea maker? Praise the heavens!
- The View: My room had a balcony. I spent hours just staring out.
- The Unexpected: Slippers! Bathtub! Bathrobes! These are the little things that make a hotel stay feel like a vacation.
- Minor gripes: I, of course, had to get a room that may or may not have been near the elevator. Was it worth it? Yes. 4.5/5
- The Bed: Extra long bed – which was perfect because I am tall.
Services and Conveniences – Because Life's Too Short for Luggage Issues
- The Good Stuff: Concierge? Check. Daily housekeeping? Check. Laundry service? Check (and needed after that buffet). Dry cleaning? Yes!!
- Unexpected Delights: They had a gift shop! (Perfect for souvenirs). And a convenience store.
- The Elevator Saga: The elevator was slow. But it did its job. Meh. 3/5.
- Safety Deposit Box: Always a good thing.
For the Kids (Because, You Know, Parents Need a Break)
- Family/Child Friendly: Check! Babysitting service! That is a big win for parents.
- The Little Things: Kids facilities seemed well-equipped.
Getting Around (Because You Gotta Get Somewhere)
- Parking: Free car park, on-site car park, and valet parking! What a variety!
- Airport Transfer: Always appreciated!
- Car Charging Station: Even better!
- Taxi Service: Perfect!
Overall Impression:
This hotel is pretty darn great. There were some minor imperfections, of course (that elevator!), but the sheer volume of amenities, the incredible staff, and that pool…wow. This hotel feels like a vacation. I felt safe, pampered, and thoroughly fed. Overall Rating: 4.6/5. I would go back. And I would eat all the pastries again.
Kamloops Getaway: Unbeatable Deals at Accent Inns!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. This isn't your perfectly-polished travel brochure. This is REAL life, Royal Floridian style. And let me tell ya, it's a WILD ride.
Royal Floridian Resort: My Slightly Disastrous, Utterly Glorious Itinerary
Day 1: Arrival & Existential Dread (and Poolside Cocktails)
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at Daytona Beach Airport (DAB). Ugh. Airport. Smells like stale coffee and broken dreams. The rental car process? Let's just say I spent 20 minutes arguing with a woman named Mildred about the definition of "compact" (apparently, my definition differs from Enterprise's). Existential dread setting in already. Is this what middle age feels like?
- 2:00 PM: Drive to Royal Floridian Resort. Actually, the drive along A1A is pretty sweet. Ocean views, even if they're slightly obscured by the endless rows of condos. Hope it's not TOO condo-y.
- 2:30 PM: Check-in. The lobby is… well, definitely "themed." Think Palm Beach with a splash of… well, a healthy dose of faux-luxury. Okay, I can roll with it. The woman at the front desk is named Brenda, and she's got a look. A Brenda-who's-seen-it-all look. I like Brenda.
- 3:00 PM: Unpack in the "Oceanview" (more like "Ocean Adjacent") suite. Okay, the room is clean. That's a good start. The balcony? TINY. Like, I can barely fit my chair on it. Commence silent grumbling.
- 4:00 PM: POOL TIME! (Finally.) This is what I came for. Finding a decent spot by the pool is like winning the lottery. Managed to snag a lounge chair, but now I'm trapped in a conversation with some guy named Barry who’s convinced the sun is a government conspiracy. He also keeps putting "the" in front of everything. “The sun is the conspiracy, you see.” I’m working on my escape plan.
- 5:00 PM: Poolside cocktail: a frozen concoction of some sort. It's bright blue. It tastes like vaguely artificial fruit. And I need another one. This is the type of decision making I'm willing to do.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at the resort's restaurant, I think it's called “The Blue Heron”. Meh. Overcooked fish. Bland sides. The best part? The awkward silence between me and my travel companion. Sometimes, traveling with people can be a test of their ability to endure your company.
- 8:00 PM: Contemplate a walk on the beach. Decide against it. Bed, Netflix, and the sweet, sweet oblivion of sleep is calling my name.
Day 2: Beachy Vibes & Potential Bird Attacks
- 7:00 AM: Wake up with the birds. (Literally. They're LOUD.) Breakfast on the tiny balcony. Cereal. Coffee. The ocean is actually GLORIOUS this morning. Forget yesterday's grumbling. Maybe, just maybe, I can handle this…
- 8:00 AM: Beach time! The beach here is surprisingly nice. The sand is soft. The waves are gentle. I'm a sucker for the sound of waves.
- 9:00 AM: Commence serious people-watching. Observe a family building a sandcastle that would shame the Taj Mahal. Witness a frantic lady trying to get a seagull to not eat her sandwich. (Sidenote: that seagull was HUGE. Like, pterodactyl-sized.)
- 10:00 AM: Get horribly sunburned despite applying sunscreen. Again.
- 11:00 AM: Realize I'm hungry. Snack time!
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at a dodgy little beachside shack. The fried clams were… questionable. Regret sets in. A seagull eyes up my leftovers with a predatory intensity. Avoid eye contact.
- 1:00 PM: Return to the pool. Barry is back. He’s wearing a Speedo this time. My god.
- 2:00 PM: Swimming, floating, trying to block out Barry's ramblings. The pool is the best part about this resort. The other guests seem to agree.
- 3:00 PM: Sun screen. Applying sunscreen (round 4).
- 4:00 PM: Decide to go to the small onsite gym to burn off some of the fried clam regret. Turns out, the gym looks like it was outfitted in 1987. At least there's air conditioning. Pretend I work out.
- 5:00 PM: Wind down and enjoy the last moments of the beach. Maybe tomorrow will be a good day.
Day 3: Exploring & Unexpected Charm
- 9:00 AM: Finally dragged myself out of bed. Today is the day for exploring! I've got no specific plans, which, let's be honest, is pretty much how I planned the whole trip.
- 10:00 AM: Head out to the nearby attractions. They may be touristy, but I have a soft spot for a good tourist trap.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at a quirky diner off the beaten path. The food is surprisingly good. Maybe there’s hope for this vacation after all.
- 1:00 PM: Stop at a local gift shop to buy some useless souvenirs. You know, the kind you'll shove in a drawer and forget about. But hey, memories, right?
- 3:00 PM: Return to the resort for the afternoon. Barry is nowhere to be seen. Praise be.
- 4:00 PM: Sit on the beach, staring at the ocean. Seriously. Ocean therapy. It's a thing.
- 5:00 PM: Start packing up.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the resort one last time. I ordered something more simple this time, just in case. The sky began to darken as I finished my meal I watched the waves crash on the sand.
Day 4: Departure & the Aftermath
- 7:00 AM: Wake up. Pack the remains.
- 8:00 AM: Check-out (no drama with Brenda this time).
- 9:00 AM: Drive back to DAB.
- 10:00 AM: Depart from DAB.
- Aftermath: Arrive home. Unpack. Start planning the next escape. Maybe next time I'll skip the resort entirely. Or maybe I'll come back to Royal Floridian. It wasn't perfect, but hey, it was real. And that's all that matters, right?
So, what *is* [Subject] anyway? Like, REALLY?
Okay, this is the million-dollar question, isn't it? And honestly? Sometimes I still feel like I'm fumbling around in the dark. Let's say [Subject] is essentially... [Give a VERY BASIC and possibly inaccurate definition, maybe with a hint of sarcasm]. Think [Relate to a common, possibly unrelated, thing people understand]. But the *real* answer? It's *so* much more. It's like trying to explain the color red to a blind person. You can describe it, but until you *feel* it... Anyway, the official stuff is probably online somewhere. I'm just here to tell you what *I* think, which is probably wrong, but definitely has the right energy, you know?
How did you get into this [Subject] thing, anyway? Was it an accident? Like, a glorious, life-altering accident?
Oh, boy. This is where the embarrassing stories start. Picture this: I was probably, like, [Give a completely random and possibly untrue age]. And I was [Describe a completely unrelated activity, say playing video games]. Then, BAM. [Relate to how they found the Subject – maybe a friend, a book, something totally unexpected]. Seriously, it was a *rabbit hole*. I started with [Initial, unassuming activity], and then... well, let's just say my bank account has never been the same. My partner *still* gives me the side-eye when a package arrives. But you know what? No regrets. Mostly. Okay, maybe a *few* regrets about the impulse buy, but anyway…
What are the hardest parts of [Subject]? Be honest; I need to know if I'm going to completely fail.
Okay, deep breath. Here's the brutal truth: [Subject] is *hard*. Like, pull-your-hair-out, question-your-life-choices hard. First off, there's [Mention a difficult aspect, like a steep learning curve]. I definitely, *definitely*, cried the first time. Actually, I think I cried the second, third, and possibly the fourth time too. Then there's the [Talk about an obstacle like time commitment]. I used to think I had enough time for, like, *everything*. I laugh now. The worst part, though, is probably [Mention a challenging aspect, maybe frustration or failure]. That feeling of, "I'll never get this!" Yeah, that's a real mood. But, BUT! (And this is important), the good stuff is worth it. Totally, absolutely, 100% worth it. (But pack tissues.)
Okay, but what's the *best* part? Give me the good stuff! The reason to keep going!
Oh, this is easy! The *best* part is [Talk about the joy or benefit of the subject]. For me, it's [Give a personal anecdote and emotional reaction]. Remember when [Describe a Specific, positive experience related to the subject]? That's what keeps me going. That feeling of [Describe an emotion, like accomplishment or excitement]... It’s amazing. It's like [Compare the experience to a positive, unrelated thing, like finally finding the perfect slice of pizza]. Plus, there's the [Talk about a benefit such as joining a community]. Honestly, some of the people I've met through [Subject] have become my best friends. They understand the pain, the joy, the… the obsession. And that connection? Pure gold.
What equipment/tools do I *absolutely* need to even start? Don't make it sound like a shopping list… or do.
Alright, so, the essential equipment... This is where it gets a little… spendy. But don't worry! You can start with [Suggest a cheaper/easily-accessible starting point]. Next, you’ll absolutely need [Item 1, even if unnecessary, and why]. Don’t skimp on this! Seriously, I did that once. Biggest mistake of my life. Well, okay, maybe not *biggest*, but definitely up there. Then you need [Item 2 – and be honest about price/quality]. I learned the hard way that you get what you pay for. Finally, and this is crucial: [Mention a really important, but sometimes overlooked, item, or a more whimsical one]. Oh! And don't forget [Suggest a final, maybe slightly silly, item]. You'll thank me later. (Seriously, you'll thank me. Especially for the [Item]!).
Is there a right/wrong way to do [Subject]? Or is it all about having fun and not, you know, breaking the rules?
This is the big question, isn't it? The truth? Well, [Subject] is all about [Emphasize the element of fun, and freedom]. It's about the experience, the journey, the… the happy accidents! (Sometimes the accidents are less happy, but we don't talk about those.) However, you *do* need a basic understanding of [mention a foundational aspect of the subject]. I spent way too much time trying to learn [mention a bad example], and I was just absolutely awful at it. Learn from my mistakes! So, generally speaking, just jump in with both feet, mess around, and see what works. Don't be afraid to fail (you *will*), and most importantly, find your own style. And if anyone tells you that you're doing it "wrong"? Ignore them. Unless they’re telling you to be safe - then listen.
What's a common mistake people make when they start? Help me NOT be that person!
Oh, buckle up, because I've made *every* mistake in the book. Probably even wrote a few new ones. The most common rookie error? [Identify a common mistake. Be specific and use personal experience if possible. Ex: Overthinking things! I used to spend hours trying to get everything perfect, and then I'd never actually *do* anything.]. Another big one is [Mention another common error, and again, relate it back to yourself]. I wasted so much time on… ugh. Just don't do it. Seriously. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help. We’ve all been there. Well, *I’ve* definitely been there. Repeatedly.
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