Moab's BEST Days Inn: Unbeatable Views & Deals!
The Honestly Messy Truth About "The Grandest Resort Ever!" (Maybe?) - A Brutally Honest Review
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I just spent a week at "The Grandest Resort Ever!" (apparently, that's their official name, bless their pretentious little hearts). And let me tell you, the experience was… well, it was something. This isn't your typical polished, sugar-coated review. This is the raw, unfiltered truth, complete with rambling thoughts, questionable decisions, and the occasional emotional outburst. Let's dive in, shall we?
SEO & Metadata (because even I’m not immune to the algorithm's siren song):
- Keywords: Luxury Hotel, Resort Review, Wheelchair Accessible, Spa, Swimming Pool, Free Wi-Fi, Family Friendly, Restaurant, Bar, COVID-19 Safety, Accessibility, Hotel Amenities, Grand Resort, International Cuisine, Asian Cuisine, Fitness Center, Cleanliness, Room Service, Breakfast Buffet.
- Meta Description: A brutally honest (and hilariously messy) review of "The Grandest Resort Ever!" uncovering accessibility, amenities, food, safety, and overall experience. Get ready for unfiltered opinions on the spa, rooms, restaurants, and…well, everything!
Accessibility: (The good, the…questionable, and the infuriating)
Alright, let's start with something close to my heart, or should I say, my ass - accessibility. They claim to be good. Well, let's see…
- Wheelchair Accessible: They say they're wheelchair accessible. And, technically, they are. The entrances have ramps, there are elevators…but the execution? Oh, the execution! The ramp to the main restaurant was steeper than my ex-wife's disapproval. One minor issue. I think I saw some people, like, needing more help with their chairs than some of the staff. Which, ya know, it doesn't match up.
- Facilities for Disabled Guests: They said they had them. I didn't see them. I'm not going to say they lied, but maybe there's a lot of miscommunication involved in this property.
- Elevator: They have them! Praise the sweet baby Jesus for elevators. It's not a huge property, but if you're on the top floor, you'll be eternally grateful.
- Important note: Sometimes, when I go to these places? I have a hard time seeing the "accessible" parts because I'm seeing them and don't have to use them.
- Quirk: One day, I noticed a very helpful staff member moving the tables for someone using a wheelchair. It was awkward. I feel like there's more to that story, and I don't know what it is, but it was an experience.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges:
- I saw some restaurants around. I'm not sure where the accessible part was, so let's say the food was more accessible to some than to others.
My Overall Feeling: Look, the effort is there. I give them points for trying. But please, please actually assess the accessibility issues and improve your understanding.
Emotional Reaction: Accessibility is not a gimmick. It's a necessity and a show of respect. So, grand resort people, step up your damn game!
Internet Access (the modern-day survival skill):
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! HELL YEAH! This is a must-have. The Wi-Fi was generally…okay. Not blazing fast, but passable for streaming cat videos and pretending to work. (Let's be honest, we're all lying about that last part.)
- Internet [LAN]: They had it. I'm not sure why you'd use a LAN in this day and age, but hey, options are good, right?
- Internet services: More options, more choices. But it's the Internet, so what more could you want? Just let me watch my shows!
- Wi-Fi in public areas: Yup, it was there. See above.
- Anecdote: One evening, I tried to video call my mom. The Wi-Fi crapped out mid-sentence, leaving me looking like a frozen, pixelated gargoyle. Classic.
Overall Feeling The Internet was a godsend.
Emotional Reaction Very grateful for the Wi-Fi and annoyed when it failed on me.
Things to Do (or…how to avoid being bored):
Ways to relax: That's what I'm here for!
- Body scrub/Wrap: Haven't tried it yet, but I'm willing.
- Fitness center: I went. Once. Just to say I did. It was…a fitness center. Nothing to write home about (unless you're obsessed with treadmills, in which case, be my guest).
- Foot bath: Nope. I passed on that.
- Gym/fitness: Yep. See Fitness Center above.
- Massage: Ah, yes. The masseuse was excellent. I actually recommend this one.
- Pool with view: Stunning. Just, absolutely stunning.
- Sauna: Steamy. Gets the job done.
- Spa: Worth the visit.
- Spa/sauna: It had everything!
- Steamroom: Yep.
- Swimming pool: Several. Gorgeous. I loved the outdoor one.
- Anecdote: I spent an hour just floating by the pool one day. Pure bliss. It was like my brain got a vacation from itself. The sun, the water, the silence…it was pure bliss.
Things to do
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Security [24-hour]: All these safety features are everywhere, which is a good thing.
- Fire extinguisher, Smoke alarms, Smoke detector: I don't know if I'd want to know if the fire extinguisher was out of date, but I'm grateful.
Overall Feeling The "Things to Do" list is pretty solid.
Emotional Reaction Okay, I am excited to go back to the pool.
Cleanliness and Safety (in a post-COVID world):
- Anti-viral cleaning products: They claimed to use them. Okay.
- Breakfast takeaway service: Available. Never used it.
- Cashless payment service: Thank goodness. I hate carrying cash.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: I'm sure they did. Everything smelled faintly of lemon.
- Doctor/nurse on call: Reassuring. Hopefully, I won't need it.
- First aid kit: Good. Good to know.
- Hand sanitizer: EVERYWHERE. Can't complain about that.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Yep.
- Hygiene certification: They said they have it.
- Individually-wrapped food options: See Breakfast.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: They tried, but it was hit or miss.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: Allegedly.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Never saw this.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Yep.
- Safe dining setup: Pretty good.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Let's hope so.
- Shared stationery removed: Excellent.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: I hope so.
- Sterilizing equipment: Probably.
Overall Feeling They try to appear safe.
Emotional Reaction They definitely did their best. I'm not too worried, all things considered.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (the food coma awaits!):
- A la carte in restaurant: Yes.
- Alternative meal arrangement: Always welcome.
- Asian breakfast: Available.
- Asian cuisine in restaurant: Yes, and it was pretty good.
- Bar: Good.
- Breakfast [buffet]: The highlight of every day. Endless bacon!
- Breakfast service: Buffet!
- Buffet in restaurant: Yes.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: Necessary.
- Coffee shop: There were.
- Desserts in restaurant: Yes.
- Happy hour: Yes! The cocktails were strong.
- International cuisine in restaurant: Yes.
- Poolside bar: Yes!
- Restaurants: Plenty.
- Room service [24-hour]: Essential.
- Salad in restaurant: Available.
- Snack bar: Yes.
- Soup in restaurant: Yes.
- Vegetarian restaurant: They had a lot of this.
- Western breakfast: Yes.
- Western cuisine in restaurant: Yes.
Overall Feeling The food was generally very good. All the places where you can eat and drink were pretty good. The
Albany's BEST Kept Secret: Knights Inn - Unbeatable Rates!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're heading to Moab! Specifically, the Days Inn by Wyndham Moab… which, let's be honest, is probably the least glamorous part of the experience. But hey, clean sheets and a questionable continental breakfast are all I really need. Here’s the unvarnished truth of my Moab adventure:
Moab Mishap: A Mostly Unplanned Itinerary (with a healthy dose of chaos)
Day 1: Arrival, Existential Dread, and Questionable Pizza
- Morning (ish): Bleary-eyed descent from the airplane, marveling at how quickly Utah's landscape shifts from flat nothingness at the airport to the red rock gloriousness of Moab. Seriously, it's like stepping onto another planet. The drive to the Days Inn was… well, it was. The GPS promised a charming little town, the Days Inn looked… functional. My internal monologue: “Well, this is it. Another hotel room to stare at the ceiling in. Another Adventure. Maybe I'll be a hermit crab after this. They have shells!”
- Afternoon: Check-in. First impressions, the front desk lady was nice. The room? Standard motel fare. Carpet that's seen things, a slightly suspect "continental breakfast" brochure. The usual. Sigh. Unpack. The world keeps moving, I'm ready for the world I can move in.
- Evening: Hunger pangs hit hard. Decided to be adventurous and try that local pizza place everyone raves about. ("Raves" being subjective, I suspect). The pizza was fine, borderline good, but I spent the entire meal wondering if I should have just ordered a sad salad at the gas stations and called it a day. The waitress gave me a strange look when I took a photo of my pizza. Apparently, I'm the weird one.
- Late Night Ramblings: Sat on the balcony (yes, the Days Inn had tiny balconies!). Stared at the sky. The stars in Moab are insane. Like, you could practically reach out and touch them. Suddenly, I lost all control and started pondering the meaning of life, the universe, and whether I'd remembered to pack enough sunscreen. A solid hour of existential crisis, courtesy of the desert night sky. It was the best sleep I'd had in months.
Day 2: Arches National Park - And My Impending Doom (in a good way)
- Early Morning (like, ridiculously early): The alarm. It's a love-hate relationship. Got my butt out of bed with the promise of Arches National Park. Drove to the park entrance, got the permit everyone told me to get (but forgot to get), the queue was long. So I cried on the side of the road, took some deep breaths, and got back on the road again.
- Mid-Morning: The hike to Delicate Arch (the iconic one!). This is where it gets real. The trail was crowded, the sun was merciless, and my water bottle was starting to feel remarkably empty. This hike wasn't just a hike; it was a Test. A test of endurance, of patience, of my capacity for self-doubt. I saw someone falling over and feeling the pain, I took a deep breath for them.
- Lunch (on the rocks): Ate lunch at a rock overlooking Delicate Arch. The view almost erased my existential dread and the exhaustion from the hike. Almost. The sandwiches were okay.
- Afternoon: Drove around on the scenic drive, stopping at various viewpoints, marveling at the red rock formations. Balanced Rock? Wowzer! Double Arch? Mind-blowing. Landscape Arch (my personal favorite, a delicate dance between gravity and time)? Absolutely gorgeous. I spent so much time trying to find the perfect shot. The sun was setting and the light was getting just… insane. It was an overwhelming experience and I lost it.
- Evening: Dinner at a different (read overpriced) burger joint. Ate the burger still feeling the adrenaline from the hike, and feeling utterly awestruck. It seems I wasn't quite over this whole sun-induced existential thing.
Day 3: Canyonlands and the Great (and terrifying) Jeep Tour Debacle
- Morning: Canyonlands National Park! The “Island in the Sky” district. The views were spectacular, but I spent the entire time worried about heights. This isn't ideal, considering, you know, the whole park is a giant cliff.
- Mid-Morning: The Jeep Tour I booked. This is where things escalated from "mildly nervous" to "holy crap, I'm going to die." The guide, a guy named "Tex" was a legit cowboy. He was all "yeehaw" and "hold on tight!"
- Afternoon: The Jeep Tour. Picture this: me, gripping the oh-god handles for dear life, bouncing around in a Jeep like a ragdoll while Tex is pointing out stuff like "See that? That's the edge of a cliff!" and making a really bad joke about my reaction. There was a moment when the Jeep tilted so far I thought we were going to roll over. Cue the screams, the white knuckles, and me mentally composing my last will and testament. It was awful. It was exhilarating. It was the kind of experience that makes you question every life choice you've ever made.
- Post-Tour Meltdown: Back at the Days Inn, I collapsed on the bed, adrenaline still pumping. I thought I was going to die! After a few hours I realized I didn't. I just needed to breathe. I needed to remember that I was okay.
- Evening: Found a bar that served marganitas. Needed the margaritas. The bar was loud, full of happy people, and a welcome contrast to the earlier terror.
Day 4: River Views and Farewell to Moab
- Morning: Kayaking the Colorado River. It was a massive relief after the Jeep tour. The water was calm, the scenery was beautiful. I got in the water and paddled around. It felt like a balm to my jangled nerves. Watched the sunrise, ate a muffin, and appreciated the beauty of the world.
- Afternoon: One last wander around town, buying souvenirs, and pretending I wasn't completely wrecked from the past few days.
- Evening: Goodbye to Moab. The drive back to the airport was silent, contemplative. I was tired, sun-kissed, slightly traumatized, and utterly changed. Days Inn? Fine. Moab? Forever in my memory. It was good while it lasted.
Final assessment: The Days Inn was, you know… a place to sleep. Moab, though? Moab was a punch in the gut of wonder, and a lesson that sometimes, embracing the chaos is the only way to make a memory. Would I go back? Absolutely. Just maybe… skip the Jeep tour next time. Okay? Okay.
Escape to Paradise: Courtyard Fort Lauderdale's Oasis Awaits!
So, What *IS* This Thing, Anyway? (Besides a Headache Waiting to Happen?)
Alright, let's start with the existential dread, shall we? Basically, think of it as… a thing. A project. An attempt. Something that started with a really good idea at 3 AM fueled by leftover pizza and a questionable amount of caffeine. And, frankly, it's evolved into something *way* more complicated than I ever anticipated. I mean, seriously, did I *need* to build a whole… thing?
Don't ask me to define it. I'll just tell you it's about… experiencing stuff. And then, you know, processing the utter chaos of it all. Expect tangents. Expect rambling. Expect the occasional emotional breakdown. Consider yourself warned.
Am I Supposed to *Like* This?
Honestly? No idea. I'm not your mother (thank God). You might find it utterly pointless. You might find it fascinating. You might find it simultaneously inspiring and deeply annoying. All reactions are valid. I'm just here for the ride (and the inevitable therapy sessions afterwards).
Me? I'm… invested. Maybe a little too invested. There was this *one* time, I spent literally 12 hours straight wrestling with… a particularly stubborn… component. Ended up crying. Then laughing. Then ordering pizza. So, yeah, expect the roller coaster.
Okay, Okay, But Like… What's the *POINT*? Besides driving me crazy?
Ah, the million-dollar question! The point? I don't know! Look, if I had a clue, I'd probably be selling yachts right now, not pouring my soul into… *this*! But if I HAD to venture a half-baked, caffeine-fueled guess, I'd say it's about figuring things out. Life. The universe. Why my socks always disappear in the dryer. You know, the big stuff.
Honestly, there are days I genuinely question my sanity. Like the time I spent three hours arguing with… a piece of software. Over *pixel alignment*. PIXEL ALIGNMENT! I wanted to rage-quit life, but then, a tiny spark of joy – of *understanding* – flickered to life, and I was hooked again. So yeah, you'll occasionally find your own little sparks, maybe.
Is This… Permanent? Can I Leave?
Good question! Yes, it's permanent. No, you can't leave. Just kidding! (Mostly). Look, the whole point is to be… something. And things sometimes change. Things evolve. Things go through phases. So, yes, it's permanent *for now*. And yes, you can totally leave. Don't let me hold you hostage.
But, seriously, expect updates. Expect revisions. Expect me to completely contradict myself at some point. It's just… how it goes. My philosophy? Embrace the chaos. Or at least, try not to run screaming from it. It's all part of the fun, right?
Why Is Everything So… Messy?
Okay, fair point. I'm not gonna lie. It's… messy. Like, a toddler's finger-painting session meets a chaotic symphony. There's a reason for this. Well, a few, actually. First, I'm not a robot. I’m, well, kinda a disaster. Things aren't always neat and tidy inside this brain of mine. Second, life isn't neat and tidy, is it? It's got loose ends. It's got screw-ups. It's got moments where you seriously consider becoming a hermit in a yurt. So yeah, the messiness is… intentional.
There was this one time. I was trying to build a… a thingy. Didn't write a single line. The result? Absolutely NOTHING. I spent a month just sitting in front of the computer, just staring. Trying to figure it out. Crying and then laughing. And then starting all over again. In the end, you get something... and you see it grow! It's ugly, but it's honest. And that's what's important, right?
Okay, I'm Confused. How do I Even *START* Interpreting This?
Ah, welcome to the club! You're in good company. Honestly, the best way to "interpret" this is to… well… just let it wash over you. Don't worry about understanding everything immediately. In fact, it's probably better *not* to. Let yourself get lost in the weeds. The journey is far more rewarding than the destination (if there even *is* a destination).
I remember the first time I really tried to delve into this… "project." I had these grandiose expectations. I wanted to *change the world*! (Cue dramatic music). It was a colossal failure. The overthinking paralyzed me. It's far better to just jump in, make mistakes, and learn along the way. I promise, it'll be less boring and more… character-building, I guess.
What about the Technical Stuff? Is it like, code? Numbers? Does it ever make *sense*?
Oh, the technicalities! That's where things *really* start to get… complicated. Yes, there *is* code involved. There's likely gonna be numbers and variables. There's going to be syntax, libraries, and all the other fun jargon that'll make you want to scream. But, there's a good chance those things will eventually make sense...sort of.
Remember the time I tried to fix that *one* bug? The one that took like, a whole week? I tried *everything*. I swear, I re-wrote that code a hundred times. And then, finally, after days and nights of frustration, I found the *one* tiny, little mistake. It was like, one semicolon. ONE. SEMICOLON. I wanted to cry. I wanted to celebrate. I ultimately had both.
So, Where do I go from Here?
Well, that depends on you. You can ignore it entirely. You can try to decipher it. You can dissect it and tear it to shreds. You can make your own thing. You can, if you feel soEasy Hotel Hunt
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