Longview's BEST Hotel? Holiday Inn Express Review!
Holiday Inn Express Longview: A Review That's a Bit… Much
Okay, alright, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from a stay at the Holiday Inn Express in Longview, and I’ve got opinions. You know, the kind you brew over a lukewarm cup of instant coffee at 3 am while wrestling with the hotel's Wi-Fi? Yeah, those kinds. Let's just say this review isn't going to be a sterile, bullet-pointed affair. We're diving deep, folks. Deep like the complimentary (but frankly disappointing) pool experience.
First Impressions & Accessibility: A Mixed Bag (Like a Bag of… You Know)
First off, the location. It's Longview. Don’t expect a bustling metropolis. It’s practical. But hey, at least it seems accessible. I mean, the website boasts about it, so that's a check (I think).
- Accessibility: Well, the lobby seemed fine, lots of space, ramps looked adequate. I'm not in a wheelchair myself, but it seemed like they had it mostly covered. (Positive)
- Wheelchair accessible: Same deal as above. Seemed alright from my limited perspective. (Neutral)
- Elevator: Yep, there was an elevator! Big deal, I know, but important! (Positive)
- Facilities for disabled guests: I didn't personally use them, but the presence of them is… a plus, I suppose. (Neutral)
- Exterior corridor: Yup, classic motel style. Not ideal if you're afraid of the dark (or shady characters…) (Neutral)
Rooms: The Never-Ending Quest for the Perfect Pillow
Right, the rooms. Let’s be real, this is where it either makes or breaks you. It certainly did for me…
Available in all rooms: This is where we start getting into the laundry list of room features, which, let's be honest, is a bit overwhelming. So, let me tell you:
- Air conditioning: Thankfully, yes. My first room felt like an oven, and honestly I was this close to going into the desk to see if they had a cooler room. (Thank God for AC!) (Positive)
- Alarm clock: Present and accounted for! Which, by the way, I always forget to set, and then I'm late for everything. Me and those dang alarm clocks never get along. (Mostly Neutral)
- Bathrobes: Nope. Sad face. I love a good hotel robe. Bring your own! (Negative)
- Bathroom phone: Who uses these anymore? I didn't even know they were still a thing. (Neutral)
- Bathtub: Hooray for a bathtub! (Positive)
- Blackout curtains: Essential for a good night's sleep. So crucial! (Positive)
- Closet: Fine. Standard. Filled with too many hangers. (Neutral)
- Coffee/tea maker: Yes! And complimentary tea? Awesome! (Positive)
- Complimentary tea: See above (but again… awesome.) (Positive)
- Daily housekeeping: Oh, bless their hearts. The cleaning staff are angels. My room was like a biohazard zone after one night! (Positive)
- Desk: Useful. Needed it to write this review. (Positive)
- Extra long bed: Thank goodness, 'cause I'm tall! Though it could've still been longer. (Mostly Positive)
- Free bottled water: Always a plus. Hydration is key! (Positive)
- Hair dryer: Yes! Finally a hair dryer that WORKS! (Positive)
- High floor: Nope. First floor, facing the parking lot. Not ideal for people-watching or, well, anything really. (Negative)
- In-room safe box: Didn't use it, but nice to know it was there. (Neutral)
- Interconnecting room(s) available: Don't need it (thank goodness!). (Neutral)
- Internet access – LAN: Nope. Old school. (Neutral)
- Internet access – wireless: Ah, yes. The bane of my hotel existence. The Wi-Fi was… spotty. More on that later. (Negative)
- Ironing facilities: Yes! And I needed to iron my one decent shirt, which means…. (Positive)
- Laptop workspace: Desk. See above. (Positive)
- Linens: Standard hotel linens. Nothing to write home about, but clean. (Neutral)
- Mini bar: Nah. Thank goodness 'cause I don't need one! (Neutral)
- Mirror: Present. Needed for self-reflection. Ha! (Positive)
- Non-smoking: Thankfully so! (Positive)
- On-demand movies: Well, it's there if you need it. (Neutral)
- Private bathroom: Necessary. (Positive)
- Reading light: Yes! Also a life saver for my book reading. (Positive)
- Refrigerator: Yes! A must for any stay. (Positive)
- Safety/security feature: The lock on the door should work. (Mostly Positive)
- Satellite/cable channels: Meh. Didn't watch any. (Neutral)
- Scale: Useful for… weighing yourself? That was the plan. (Neutral)
- Seating area: Nope, but I wasn't expecting it. (Neutral)
- Separate shower/bathtub: Yes! That's a bonus! (Positive)
- Shower: Yep. Needed it. (Positive)
- Slippers: Nope. Bring your own. (Negative)
- Smoke detector: Praying it works. (Mostly Positive)
- Socket near the bed: Absolutely critical for phone charging! (Positive)
- Sofa: No. (Neutral)
- Soundproofing: Okay, but I could still hear the person in the next room snoring. (Neutral)
- Telephone: Not a fan. (Neutral)
- Toiletries: The usual generic hotel stuff. Not bad, not great. And always running low on conditioner. (Neutral)
- Towels: Clean towels! The important thing. (Positive)
- Umbrella: No, but I was lucky. (Neutral)
- Visual alarm: Hmm. (Neutral)
- Wake-up service: Never again. (Neutral)
- Wi-Fi [free]: Free, yes, but the connection was… a struggle. (Negative)
- Window that opens: Yes! Sweet, sweet fresh air! (Positive)
Cleanliness & Safety: Pandemic Edition
Let's be fair, the world is a mess right now. How did this hotel adapt?
- Anti-viral cleaning products: They claimed they used them (Neutral - assuming that's true)
- Breakfast takeaway service: Yes! Which was actually amazing. (See below: "Dining, drinking, and snacking") (Positive)
- Cashless payment service: Fine by me. (Neutral)
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Hmmm. Hard to say. Did the lobby chairs feel extra clean? Not really. (Neutral)
- Doctor/nurse on call: Hopefully, I wouldn't need it! (Neutral)
- First aid kit: Good. (Neutral)
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere! So important. (Positive)
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Good. (Positive)
- Hygiene certification: I don't know. Didn't see one. (Neutral)
- Individually-wrapped food options: More on that later, but mostly a yes! (Positive)
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: They tried. The breakfast area could have used some more spacing. (Neutral)
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: Hmmm. (Neutral)
- Room sanitization opt-out available: I don't recall seeing that option. (Neutral)
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Yes. (Positive)
- Safe dining setup: See breakfast. (Mostly Positive)
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Sure. (Hopefully Positive)
- Shared stationery removed: Probably. (Neutral)
- Staff trained in safety protocol: I suppose? (Neutral)
- Sterilizing equipment: Did they have the good
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because we're about to dive headfirst into the gloriously imperfect, slightly chaotic, and hopefully hilarious world of my travel itinerary. We're talking Holiday Inn Express and Suites Longview North By IHG in Longview, Texas. Don't worry, I wouldn't be caught dead planning a trip without a good dose of self-deprecation and expecting the unexpected. Let's go!
Day 1: Arrival and The Quest for a Decent Dinner (Plus a Bathroom Odyssey)
- 3:00 PM: ARRIVE! (Or, well, try to. You know how airports go. Delays, lost luggage – basically the opening act of every comedy tour.) Landed in Longview after a flight that felt like it took longer than the damn Oregon Trail. Found my way to the hotel… or at least, a Holiday Inn Express… praying it was indeed the one.
- 3:30 PM: CHECK-IN: Success! Keycard acquired. Room: "Non-Smoking." My internal monologue: Well, that's good. Gotta start somewhere. First impression: clean, basic. A little like a… well, a Holiday Inn Express. Perfectly functional, but lacking the pizzazz of a Parisian boutique hotel.
- 3:45 PM: The Bathroom Reconnaissance Mission: First order of business: the loo. Gotta check the toilet pressure, the water temperature, the… well, you know. Important stuff. The first toilet, which, I'll admit, was a tiny bit loose and wobbly, and was the perfect start.
- 4:30 PM: The Dinner Debacle: Okay, hunger pangs are setting in. Time to find some grub. I did a little research. Read online reviews. Looked for "best burgers Longview." Turns out, Longview is apparently the undisputed burger capital of… well, maybe just Longview. I selected a place, with a name I've mercifully forgotten.
- 5:30 PM: I got to the burger joint. It was a disaster: the atmosphere was akin to a high school cafeteria, the burgers were, charitably, "adequate." I was so hungry i ate it. My emotional reaction to this meal was all of the negative emotions combined. Disgusted, let down, confused.
- 6:30 PM: Back to the hotel, feeling a little defeated. At least there's free coffee in the lobby, right? Right?
- 7:00 PM: "Amenities" Exploration: This is where the real adventure begins. Let's see what this particular Holiday Inn Express really has to offer. I went down to the pool! It wasn't a pool, it was a small puddle.
- 9:00 PM: Bedtime (ish): I'm going to go to sleep. My emotional reaction: ecstatic.
Day 2: Adventures in Longview (and Potential for Disaster)
- 7:00 AM: Coffee, Glorious Coffee: The free breakfast buffet at the hotel. A land of lukewarm scrambled eggs and questionable sausage. Let's be honest, this is not gourmet dining. It's fuel. I ate a few pieces of toast, hoping to fortify myself for the day.
- 9:00 AM: Longview Activities… or, Searching for Something to Do: Right. Longview. What even is there to do in Longview? I googled! "Things to do in Longview, TX." Mostly, the results seemed to involve antiquing or visiting historical landmarks. I'm more of a "get lost in a bookstore for hours" kinda gal.
- 10:00 AM: The Bookstore Incident AKA "Where I Lost Track of Time": I had found it. A real bookstore. The smell of old paper hit me like a warm hug. I plunged in, losing myself in the stacks for hours. I read a whole chapter, sat in the chair, and went into a world of my own. Pure bliss. I think I'll be back tomorrow.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch… or, More Food Fiascos: I tried to find a deli for lunch. I was so hungry. I entered a convenience store. I got a hot dog. I ate the hot dog.
- 3:00 PM: Back to the Hotel, and Sudden Existential Dread: The day's almost over. And I've been alone! I need some company, but I guess my book is my company.
- 7:00 PM: That Night Show: I'll definitely stay inside. I'll turn off the lights, and I'll watch TV. That's a nice, quiet thing to do.
Day 3: Departure and Overall Reflections (Spoiler: Still Alive)
- 7:00 AM: Breakfast, Regret, and a Vow: More lukewarm eggs. This time, I managed to find a decent piece of bacon. Progress! I made myself a promise: Next time I travel, I'm bringing my own coffee. I'm also going to learn to cook some good eggs.
- 9:00 AM: Checkout: Another success, another hotel defeated.
- 9:30 AM: Departure: Bye-bye, Longview! Thanks for the… well, experiences.
- 11:30 AM: Plane takeoff: Takeoff always give me a little bit of thrill. So I took a deep breath, got comfortable in my seat.
- 1:00 PM: Home Sweet Home: I am back! I'm ready for my own bed, my own food, my own adventures.
Final Thoughts:
So, that's it. My Longview, Texas, holiday. Messy? Yes. Emotionally charged? Absolutely. Did I have an amazing time in Longview? That’s debatable. But I survived. And, let’s be honest, the best travel stories come from the messiest, most human experiences.
Banning's Best Kept Secret: Days Inn & Casino Fun!
Longview's BEST? Uh...Let's Talk Holiday Inn Express (Spoiler: It's Complicated)
So, is the Holiday Inn Express in Longview really "the best"? Give it to me straight.
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because "best" is a loaded word. Look, it's *fine*. It's a Holiday Inn Express, so you kind of know what you're in for. Think clean-ish rooms, predictable (and by that, I mean *boring*) breakfast, and a pool that sometimes looks like it hasn't seen a chlorine molecule in a decade. My *honest* answer? It depends on what you're comparing it to, and what your tolerance is for slightly-above-average motel experiences. Is it the BEST EVER? Absolutely not. Is it the *worst*? Probably not either. It's Longview, people. Expectations should be managed accordingly.
Alright, alright, what about the rooms? Clean? Comfortable? Or a biohazard zone waiting to happen?
Okay, deep breath. The rooms... are usually okay. I mean, I haven't contracted any weird fungal infections (yet!), which is a win in my book. They're generally *clean enough* – you'll find the usual suspects: a slightly-worn carpet, possibly a questionable stain on the armchair that you *really* don't want to think about. But the beds? They’re alright. I’ve certainly slept in worse. The pillows are those fluffy, generic things that offer minimal support, but hey, at least you can bury your face in them and pretend the world doesn't exist, ya know? One time, though... ONE TIME. I found a rogue *hair* in the bathroom. Not mine. That kind of put a damper on my entire stay. I spent the rest of the night squinting at everything. So, yeah, "generally okay" is the best I can do. It's the Longview version of sparkling, I guess.
The breakfast...tell me about the breakfast. Is it the usual sadness?
Oh, the breakfast. This is where the "Express" part *really* shines. It's basically a buffet of sugar, starch, and questionable sausage. You've got your pre-packaged muffins that taste suspiciously like cardboard, your lukewarm scrambled eggs (which, honestly, sometimes look like they’ve been sitting out since the Cretaceous period), and that glorious, high-fructose corn syrup-laden waffle machine. I'm not even sure *what* is in the sausage. The coffee? Let's just say it'll wake you up, but not in a good way. I swear, the coffee machine at a truck stop has more personality. Honestly? Just grab a granola bar from the front desk and call it a day. You'll thank me later. The *one* nice thing? The orange juice is usually pretty good. Small victories, people. Small victories.
What about the pool? Is it a refreshing oasis or something out of a B-movie horror flick?
Okay, the pool... *shudders*. It can swing either way. Sometimes it looks sparkling and inviting, a true oasis. More often than not, though... it's giving me serious "creepy abandoned motel" vibes. I’ve seen algae. I've seen murky water. I’ve seen… things. I swear, one time I saw a rogue, lonely flip-flop floating in it. It looked utterly defeated. If cleanliness is a top priority, maybe skip the pool. Or, you know, bring your own hazmat suit. I'm not judging. Honestly, I once saw a kid pee in the pool. I just… left. It was a defining moment in my Longview hotel experience.
Any quirks or memorable staff encounters? Spill the tea!
Oh, the staff... They try. Bless their hearts, they *really* try. There was that one guy, bless him, who was doing *everything* at once. Checking people in, answering the phone, replenishing the waffles... I swear to you, he was juggling three flaming chainsaws while simultaneously serenading guests with his terrible rendition of "Hotel California." Okay, maybe not the chainsaws. But the rest? Truth. The staff is generally friendly, if a little frazzled. Sometimes you get the feeling they've seen things. And by "things," I mean a lot of very tired people. It probably explains the blank stares. One time I asked for extra towels and the lady at the desk looked like I'd just asked her to solve the mysteries of the universe. "Towels? *Sigh* Just... just go back to your room..." That's the Longview experience. It's charming, in its own way.
Okay, so the WiFi... vital or a major letdown?
Ah, the WiFi. This is where things get… unpredictable. Sometimes it's lightning-fast, allowing you to stream movies, answer work emails, and generally feel like you're living in the 21st century. Other times... it’s slower than a snail on sleeping pills. You might be lucky to load a single web page in under five minutes. Seriously, I swear I've seen dial-up that's faster. Expect to tether your phone. Prepare to curse the internet gods. Accept that you might just have to disconnect and actually *talk* to someone. The horror! That’s Longview WiFi for you: A gamble.
Parking? Free? Paved? Or a demolition derby waiting to happen?
Parking... is plentiful. It's free. It's... paved. It's also a bit of a free-for-all. Finding a spot shouldn't be a problem, but don't expect Valet. It's Longview. They don't roll like that. You might have to walk a little, especially if you arrive late, because, hey, it's Longview and people are probably staying there. That's it. It's parking. Nothing exciting or memorable here.
So, would you recommend it? Honestly, after all this.
Look, let's be brutally sincere here. *It depends*. If you're expecting luxury, skip it. If you're expecting a quirky, charming bed-and-breakfast experience, also skip it. If you're looking for a clean, functional place to crash for a night or two and you're *in* Longview, then sure. It's... an option. It's not going to blow your mind. It's safe. It's probably the least terrible option in town. Just manage your expectations. And maybe, just maybe, pack your own breakfast waffles. Seriously.
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