Escape to Cleveland: Airport-Near Suites with Unbeatable Comfort!
Escape to Cleveland: Airport-Near Suites with Unbeatable Comfort! - A Review That's Actually Honest (And Maybe a Little Crazy)
Okay, folks, buckle up. This isn't your typical, sterile hotel review. This is the unfiltered, slightly caffeinated, and definitely real take on the "Escape to Cleveland" hotel – the one that promises airport-near suites and, supposedly, “unbeatable comfort.” I stayed there. I survived. Here's the lowdown, warts and all.
Location, Location, Lounging (and the Airport's Shadow):
First things first: it's near the airport. Like, really near. I could practically taste the jet fuel during my stay. (Okay, maybe not literally, but the proximity is undeniable.) Now, this is either a pro or a con, depending on your perspective. For me, the upside was the convenience. Short layover? Boom, you're there. Need a quick crash pad before an early flight? Perfect. The downside? The noise. While the soundproof rooms are mostly effective… well, more on that later.
Accessibility & The Quest for the Perfect Ramp (and the Bathroom):
Alright, let's talk about accessibility. This is crucial, and I’m happy to report they did pretty good. The elevators were there (essential!), and most of the public areas seemed wheelchair-friendly. I was happy, even though, I’m not a wheelchair user myself (hey, I'm just a tourist!). I did notice a few ramps that, while present, felt a little… shall we say, optimistically angled. Like someone thought the laws of physics didn't apply. Not a dealbreaker, but something to keep in mind. Also, I was very happy to see they had some wheelchair-accessible rooms. More places need that, and if you need that it, it is a must-see! Verdict: Pretty good. Could be better on the angle front, but a solid effort.
The Sanctuary of the Suite (and the Ghosts of Last Night's Guests):
Okay, the suites. That's where the "unbeatable comfort" is supposed to kick in. And, credit where it's due, they are pretty decent. My room was spacious, with a separate seating area and a ridiculously large bed. I'm talking "lose-your-partner-in-the-night" big. The blackout curtains are a lifesaver, trust me. Because let's return to the jet fuel I was talking about earlier.
But, and here's where the imperfections sneak in, everything wasn't perfect. The room somehow felt a little sterile, a little… used. It was clean, don't get me wrong. But not sparkling. Like they tried to clean it very well, but some of the ghosts of the previous guests' late-night pizza binge still lingered in the air. I probably overthink, but that's the vibe I got. Also, I have a very very big problem with the carpet, it feels like a public street. Verdict: Comfortable? Yes. Unbeatable? Maybe not. But it's a good start.
The Fortress of Cleanliness (or, the War Against Germs):
I am a bit paranoid, like a normal person. So, let's talk about cleanliness. The panic was there, and I was pleased to see that the hotel took the health situation seriously. Hand sanitizer stations EVERYWHERE. Staff wearing masks and gloves, and I noticed them constantly cleaning. They're serious about this. I was very happy to see that they were using "Anti-viral cleaning products". I also really liked that they were removing "Shared stationery", I hate that.
Verdict: My germophobic tendencies were relatively soothed. The effort is there, and I appreciated it.
Food, Glorious Food (and the Mystery of the Microwave):
Okay, the food situation. The hotel does have options. A restaurant a Coffee shop, a bar, a snack bar… But, with a few exceptions, the meals were generally mediocre. The breakfast buffet was definitely there, it was acceptable, but not remarkable. The coffee shop was decent for a quick caffeine fix, but nothing to write home about. I had a really good soup once, weirdly, they do amazing soups. I was really frustrated to find out there was no microwave (I like to warm up my food sometimes), but I couldn't complain, it's not a must.
Verdict: Food is functional, not fabulous. Don't expect Michelin-star dining. Pack snacks.
Relax and Unwind (or the Quest for Serenity):
Here's where things get interesting. The amenities are pretty impressive. They have a gym, a pool, a spa, and even a sauna. The "Pool with view" was a nice touch, I liked it more than I should have.
The gym was small, but adequate for a quick workout. The pool was clean and inviting, even though I just looked at it. The spa… well, I'm a guy, so I didn't go. But I heard good things! I would have liked a Foot bath! There was a "Body Scrub", which sound really interesting (but I don't think I would do that), and a "Body wrap" (also not for me).
Verdict: Plenty of options to unwind. It's a hotel, not a health resort, so temper your expectations. But, overall, a good selection.
The Extras: Services, Conveniences, and That Annoying Wi-Fi (But Free!)
The hotel offers a ton of services. Daily housekeeping, laundry service, a concierge, all the usual stuff. The staff was generally friendly and helpful. The Wi-Fi… well, let's just say it was inconsistent. Sometimes lightning-fast, sometimes slower than a snail in molasses. But hey, it was free, so I can't complain too much. I like that they offer "Cash withdrawal" and "Safety deposit boxes".
Verdict: Solid, reliable service. Wi-Fi could be better, but it's free. That's the price you pay.
For the Kids (or, The Babysitting Adventure I Avoided):
I didn't have any kids with me, but I did see several families. The hotel offers babysitting services and has "Family/child friendly". I didn't try the "Kids facilities" (I'll be honest, I'm single, how could I?), but they looked good.
Verdict: Seems kid-friendly. Good for parents, probably.
Getting Around: Airport Shuttle and the Mystery of Parking
They have a free airport transfer, which is a HUGE plus. You just call for the shuttle and in minutes you are ready to go. They have "Car park [free of charge]", and "Car park [on-site]". If you want to go to a place, they offer taxi service. The parking was free, which is always appreciated.
Verdict: Easy access to the airport. Transportation is a breeze.
The Verdict, Final and Ultimately Imperfect
So, would I recommend the "Escape to Cleveland" hotel? Yes, with a few caveats. It's a solid option. It's convenient, comfortable enough, and the amenities are good for the price point. But, it's not perfect. It's a little rough around the edges, and sometimes, it feels a tad impersonal.
Here's the TL;DR version:
- Pros: Convenient location, generally clean, decent suites, free airport transfer.
- Cons: Noise from the airport, food is mediocre, occasional Wi-Fi struggles, some minor accessibility issues.
Overall, I'd give it a solid 7.5 out of 10. It's a good place to crash before or after a flight. Just don't expect a luxury experience and, you know, bring your own snacks. And maybe some earplugs. P.S. If you’re looking for a place to propose, avoid it. It’s not romantic. If you are looking to have a normal and cool time, you'll do great.
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Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's perfectly polished travel itinerary. This is the raw, unfiltered, slightly-too-much-coffee version, centered around my recent… experience… at the Extended Stay America Suites in North Olmsted, Ohio. Trust me, you'll feel like you were there.
THE EXTENDED STAY ODYSSEY (So Far)
(Day 1: Arrival & Existential Dread in a Beige Landscape)
- 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: Land at Cleveland Hopkins International (CLE). The airport felt… beige. Just, a whole lotta beige. It was like the color designers decided everyone needed a good dose of "meh" before they even left the airport. Immediately hit by the Ohio humidity – which, let me tell you, is a character all on its own.
- 2:30 PM: Uber to Extended Stay. Found the place. It's… exactly what you expect. Long, low-slung, with windows that probably haven't seen a squeegee since the Clinton administration.
- 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Check-in. Ugh. The front desk guy seemed to be having a harder day than I was. Paperwork. Credit cards. The inevitable, "Is there anything else I can help you with?" My brain screamed escape but I only managed to mumble, "Nah, I think I'm good."
- 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Unpack. My room… well, let's just say it's a masterclass in the art of beige. The curtains are heavy, the furniture functional (read: cheap). The kitchen area makes me want to cry, the counter space doesn't fit the budget, and the fridge looks like it might be plotting something. I'm getting the distinct feeling of being very temporary.
- Anecdote: I tried to microwave a frozen meal. It exploded. Like, actual, tiny, fiery volcanoes of pasta. Luckily, I’d brought a cleaning cloth. That was my first mistake.
- 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM: The "Great Grocery Run." Head to the local grocery store. This feels like a pilgrimage. Grab some… essentials. Coffee. Pop-Tarts. (Don't judge). Something green. Maybe some carrots, to pretend I know how to adult.
- 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Dinner in the room. The aforementioned exploded meal. Remind myself that I'm not a professional chef. Sigh. Consider ordering takeout (more on that later). The TV is my only friend.
- 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Stare blankly at the television. The local news is on. An unfortunate house fire. A cat stuck in a tree. More local news. Ohio, you’re… something else.
- 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM: Trying (and failing) to connect to the WiFi. This is going to be a long week.
(Day 2: The Quest for Decent Coffee & the Deep, Dark Hole of Online Shopping)
- 7:00 AM - 8:00 AM: Wake up. The sun barely peeks through the curtains. Make terrible coffee with the in-room setup. Consider running to Starbucks, but the siren song of the bed is strong.
- 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Work (blah). At least the Wifi finally decided to cooperate.
- 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM: THE NORTH OLMSTED ADVENTURE. Okay, I realized I couldn't stay holed up in this Beige Box all day. Get dressed (a monumental effort, I assure you). Find something to do, anything!
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Quick bite at a nearby greasy spoon diner. The waitress is a whirlwind of energy and sass. Order all the carbs. Regret nothing. The coffee is… better than the in-room disaster, but that bar isn’t exactly set high. It’s a classic diner experience: a comforting reminder that, even in North Olmsted, things could be worse.
- 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM: CRAZY. Try driving around. See… things. I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said, "I love Ohio." I get that, I guess. It just seemed a little… earnest. The roads are… fine. The shops… mostly chains. Feel a creeping sense of isolation. Did I mention beige?
- 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Back to the room. The siren song of online shopping is STRONG. This is where the "mess" really begins. Found a sale on cat sweaters. Purchased three. What has my life become?
- Quirky Observation: The worst part? I don't even have a cat.
- 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Dinner. Tried ordering takeout from a place called "Pizza Paradise." It was an adventure to say the least. Let's just say the pizza was more "pizza purgatory."
- 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM: More TV. More existential dread. The cat sweaters arrive early!
- 8:00 PM - 10:00 PM: Attempt to read. Fail miserably. Stare at the ceiling and contemplate the meaning of life. Is this what my life has come to? Extended Stay in Ohio. Cat sweaters on the way. Maybe it’s time for a spa day. Okay, not a spa day, more like a "long shower and pretend everything is alright" afternoon.
(Day 3: The Unending Labyrinth of Laundry & the Questionable Charm of a Suburban Parking Lot)
- 7:00 AM - 8:00 AM: Wake up. Repeat coffee process. Feel a little more settled in this cardboard box.
- 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Work.
- 9:00 AM - 10:00 AM: Laundry. The common laundry room in the Extended Stay is a symphony of whirring machines and the lingering scent of… something. I'm not sure what. I’m also pretty sure one of the machines ate a sock.
- 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Venture outside. The mall. That is all.
- Anecdote: Stood in a parking lot for, like, 20 minutes. Nothing happened. Well, one particularly beat-up minivan with a "Honk if you love Jesus" sticker went by.
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch at the food court. Feel myself slowly but surely morphing into a suburban stereotype. Embrace it, I guess.
- 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM: Drive around and… observe? Ohio is… Ohio.
- 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Back to the room. The isolation starts to gnaw.
- Emotional Reaction: I start to wonder if I should call someone. Anyone, even my weird uncle.
- 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Consider ordering pizza. Consider anything.
- 6:00 PM - 9:00 PM: TV. Wonder if I should be doing something.
- 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM: Maybe I'm starting to understand Ohio.
(Day 4 & Beyond: The Descent into Bedtime and a Deep, Deep Sigh)
- (Repeat the above, but with varying degrees of ennui. I'll spare you the blow-by-blow.)
- Increased Online Shopping. The cat sweaters arrive in droves.
- The Food Situation: I begin to ration my pop-tarts in a desperate attempt to feel some semblance of control.
- More TV I may never escape the beige… or North Olmsted.
- The Final Day: The moment of departure. Pack. Check out. Get to the airport. Fly home.
- Final Thought: I'm not sure if I'll ever truly be the same.
- Emotion: Deep, deep exhaustion.
In Conclusion (For Now)
This Extended Stay experience was… an experience. It wasn't glamorous. It wasn't exciting. But it was real. It was messy. And it's the kind of trip that sticks with you, for better or for worse. Stay tuned for the next adventure, where I am sure I will be even better and funnier. (Maybe next time I won't explode my meals, though.) Wish me luck.
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Alright, Let's Get Real About "Escape to Cleveland: Airport-Near Suites with Unbeatable Comfort!" (Or, Why I Might Need a Vacation *from* my Vacation)
So, what *is* this "Escape to Cleveland" thing? Sounds… well, like Cleveland.
Okay, fair point. Cleveland, you know? It's got its charms. But this "Escape" is specifically about a hotel near the Cleveland Hopkins Airport. Think: a place to crash *after* your flight has been delayed for 8 hours and you're questioning every life choice that led you to being in that airport in the first place. Suites! Fancy words, right? Basically, bigger rooms. Unbeatable comfort? Well, their marketing team sure *thinks* so. We'll get to that.
Are those suites actually… suite-y? Like, two separate rooms? Or is "suite" just hotel-speak for "bigger"?
Ah, the million-dollar hotel suite question! It varies. I’ve stayed in places where the "suite" was basically a glorified closet with a slightly updated sofa bed. Other times, I've felt practically *lost* in the vastness of the space. Check the specific hotel's description. Don't just assume "suite" equals "penthouse". Learned that the hard way. Once, I booked a "suite" and it turned out the "living room" was about as large as my bathroom at home. And there was a *giant* spider in the corner. Not a great start to a relaxing stay, I can tell you. I'm still not sure if that was a Cleveland omen or just bad luck.
Unbeatable comfort? Seriously? What's the catch? Like, are the beds made of petrified wood?
"Unbeatable comfort." Ah, the siren song of the marketing department. Look, comfort is subjective, right? One person's idea of heaven is a cloud-like mattress, another's is a rock-hard surface that reminds them of their childhood and their *superior* back strength. My experience was mixed. The beds *were* comfy. Pillows? A decent selection. But the "unbeatable" part? I'm not entirely convinced. One time, the AC was stuck on arctic blast, and I spent half the night trying to regulate the temperature, huddled under every blanket in the room. "Unbeatable" is a tough standard to meet when you're shivering in your sleep. I mean, I’d *like* to believe my current hotel stay is better, after I've gotten over this current bout of jet lag and my stomach agrees...
Is it actually quiet, being near the airport? Because I picture a constant roar of jet engines.
This is the big one, isn't it? Noise. The airport factor. Look. Sometimes, it's fine. Sometimes, it sounds like a 747 is trying to land *in* your living room. I've stayed at places with amazing soundproofing, and you'd barely know you were near an airport. Then there are places...well, let's just say I learned every aircraft model code by heart during one particularly noisy stay when my dreams got interrupted by the roar of jets taking off and landing every 15 minutes. (And yes, it made me want to throw something.) Ask about soundproofing *specifically* when you book. It's truly the difference between a relaxing escape and a sleepless night of airplane bingo.
What about the amenities? Free breakfast? A disappointing pool? Tell me everything!
Ah, the sacred amenities! Okay, breakfast. ALWAYS investigate the breakfast situation. Is it a continental nightmare of stale pastries and questionable coffee? Or a glorious buffet of fluffy pancakes and crispy bacon? The breakfast situation can make or break a hotel stay. I once stayed at a place boasting a "gourmet" breakfast, and it turned out to be a single sad waffle and some instant oatmeal. I nearly rioted. Consider the pool. Pools can be a lifesaver after a long flight. Or, they can be overcrowded cesspools of chlorine and screaming children. The gym? Let's just say I'm more of a "sit on the couch and eat chips" kind of person, but I do get that some people like them. Check the details!
Is it actually worth the price, or is it just an overpriced hotel for tired travelers?
That's the big question, isn't it? Value. Look, it depends on your needs. If you're desperately seeking a comfortable place to crash after a long flight, and price isn't a *huge* concern, it might be worth it. But honestly? Compare prices! Check reviews about hidden fees. I've had experiences where the "reasonable" price ballooned after they added on parking, taxes, and a "resort fee" for…well, I still don't know what I got in return. Be smart. Be vigilant. And read the fine print. Seriously.
Any tips for choosing the "best" airport-near suite in Cleveland?
Okay, here's the advice I learned the hard way:
- **Read the Reviews (Seriously, READ THEM!)**: Look for comments about noise levels, bed comfort, and breakfast quality. Also, look for repeating issues - multiple comments about a specific problem is a red flag.
- **Check the Location Map**: See how *close* the hotel is to the terminals. A "near" hotel could mean a long shuttle ride.
- **Ask about Transportation**: Free shuttle? Is it reliable? Do they have a system where you can just book online? A bad shuttle service can add hours of stress.
- **Be Realistic:** Cleveland is not the French Riviera. Manage your expectations.
- **Factor in the Price:** The cheapest option might not be the best. But the most expensive one might not be either!
- **Consider Your Needs**: If you plan to get work done, make sure good Wi-Fi is available! If you just want to sleep, make sure it is quiet.
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